Sunday, August 9, 2009

Almost Done

With BTS shopping that is. Gabby needs 1 more notebook and another pair of jeans, then I just need the classroom basics for donation - tissue, paper towel, band aids. I still need to get them winter boots but those can wait a couple months.

Speaking of winter, today we are finally getting a taste of real summer - hot, sunny, humid, and in the 90s. Ahhhhhhh.....yucky! I think it is only supposed to last 2 days, then a short break, then back to summer again. I just might have to get out the pool for the kids, but that would require I mow, which I don't want to do in the heat. The slip n slide sprung a big leak so that is shot for the summer. Maybe I'll go invest in a new sprinkler for the kids and see if that tides them over.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Why Me?

I seem to have this thought go through my mind on a daily basis. Why is my life so shitty? Why are we always on the losing end? When is it our turn to breathe easy? I'm beginning to think it will never happen. I am not the type of person that wants or needs "things" but damn it, I sure would like to just have enough. I would love for my kids to just once in their childhood, be able to take a family vacation (for more than just one day driving across state). I feel like all we do is get kicked while we're down. We have a crap load of medical bills for Natalie's eyes, Gabby's teeth, and Jeff's arm. Of course everything always happens after we lose insurance. It sucks!!!!! We never seem to qualify for much help either. Today in the mail I get a $200 tax bill from fricken 2005 due to a mortgage company screw up. Nice. They get billions of govt. bail out money and we get screwed again.

I try to remind myself God doesn't burden us with more than we can handle but my goodness, can't someone else get dumped on for a change? I get so disheartened when I see others that get to take fun vacations, can afford to make home improvements, can throw big birthday parties for their kids. Again, I don't want brand new things, I'm fine driving used cars and shopping second hand for clothes and such, but sometimes it would be really nice to have money to just go to a store and buy one outfit without worrying about taking that money away from a bill.

I guess I just needed to vent some frustrations. I am just waiting for the tide to turn and things to start looking up, but it just seems to only get darker here lately and we fall deeper and deeper.