Saturday, August 23, 2008
Why can't I try to be happy?
I feel like I have nothing left in me to be positive for. Seems anytime we think things are starting to go ok for us we get sh*t on yet again. I hate it, it makes me cranky and I end up taking it out on the kids, which makes me feel even worse than I already do. I try to be supportive for hubby since this time it isn't his fault his company lied to him when he went back to work there in the Spring after a new owner bought the old failing company. Life just isn't fair to us and I want to scream and kick and throw a temper tantrum about it. I hate the saying "God never gives you more than you can handle" because He sure as hell tries to with us, while so many others around me seem to have it so much easier and have never had the struggles that we constantly have. I have zero faith anymore, which is sad to say but it is very, very true. I know Jeff feels the same way, in fact he stopped believing years ago. Whenever someone says "I'll be praying for your family" I just smile and politely thank them all the while thinking what good will it do?